Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
