Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
