in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
