u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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