party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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