Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
