There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
