my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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