I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
