Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize