Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
