btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
