Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
