How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
