Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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