Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
