who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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