this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
try to milk me bitch
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