Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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