Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
