Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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