OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
