Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
do nipples grow back?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
