I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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