I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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