there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
