I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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