Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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