I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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