What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
