oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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