yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Randomize