Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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