It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
