Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i will never coherently bang her
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
