God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
