I just threw up on my dentist
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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