i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
