I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Dick very happy bro
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
