that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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