dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I would fuck him just for his dog
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
