If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
