You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Life is so much better after having sex.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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