Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
