Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize