Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
ok first of all what the fuck
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
