i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
