i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
im six kinds of drunk right now
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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