mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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