there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
