You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
