what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
sarcasm needs its own font
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
