So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
