I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
