Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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