my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize