do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
