It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Randomize
