it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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