its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
