I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
