I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
