i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize