Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
